| Written by Gabrielle Davis MS, LPC, NCC
What is inner peace exactly? Is it some kind of magical glow or sensation that comes over you? Short answer is no, and there’s no right, wrong, or clear-cut answer. What is clear is that inner peace is subjective and individually based. Some common examples that help to describe this concept include increased gratitude and appreciation, a sense of wellness, inner calm or balance, spiritual clarity, greater self-awareness, and heightened wellness. It’s all of these and more based on your needs and desire. In the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.”
So you might ask, what’s difference between inner peace and happiness? If I’m genuinely
happy, am I at peace? Happiness can be an emotional component of inner peace. Like all
emotions, they tend to be fleeting like a vacation or celebration that ends. Inner peace, unlike
happiness, comes from within. It needs to be cultivated and developed through mindful and
intentional living that provides a sense of contentment, serenity, balance, and stability that’s
always with you – in your good and bad times in life. It doesn’t change because circumstances
change. It also doesn’t mean that you’ll never ever experience feeling stressed, overwhelmed,
or any other uncomfortable emotion, but rather you’ll be in a much better position mentally
and emotionally to resolve and get through it.
“You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life, but by realizing who you are
at the deepest level.” ― Eckhart Tolle
There are multiple ways you can begin to take steps toward creating inner peace through the deliberate practice of different strategies, approaches, and techniques. With time, you begin to form healthy habits and slowly discover a deeper change in both mindset and behavioral response to stimuli around you. Let’s begin exploring….
- Take a break from social and mainstream media. Allow yourself to step away from all the latest and breaking news, or what has been Xed (formerly Tweeted), Instagrammed, or TikToked. Think of it as a purposeful mind break so that you can focus on something else that provides you joy and satisfaction, and that’s not anchored on one type of social outlet or connection.
- Meditate (with or without guidance). There are different forms of meditation, which is great to meet individual needs and interests. Some examples include yoga, relaxation and breathing exercises, (e.g., progressive muscle relaxation), body stretches or simply taking a few minutes to deep breathe and be in tune with your thoughts and body sensations. There are a host of electronic apps (e.g., Headspace, Calm, Let’s Meditate, and The Mindfulness App) that can guide your meditation experience. There’s something nice about following a soft and soothing voice with tranquil music or sounds playing in the background to help you relax and focus on channeling your inner thoughts. Different spiritual and/or religious practices are additional ways of meditating, such as praying, reading scriptures or inspirational quotes, and fellowshipping with others.
- Practice daily paced breathing. This is a simple practice that can make a huge difference! Deep breathing is a natural way for your mind and body to start calming down. This includes slowing down your heart rate, expanding your lungs to release carbon dioxide, allowing more oxygen to enter that your brain needs, which allows you to relax and think more clearly.
- Show acts of kindness to others. The Cambridge dictionary defines kindness as “the quality of being generous, helpful, and caring about other people, or an act showing this quality. Extending kindness is something that naturally helps you to feel good about yourself, too. Simple acts include lending a helping hand at the grocery store, giving a compliment to a stranger, showing patience to an elder, or holding a door open for someone just to name a few. These simple acts can stimulate a positive mood and create a “helper’s high”, which is when the brain releases the feel-good hormones of serotonin (mood regulator), dopamine (pleasure/reward), and oxytocin (“love hormone”).
- Be out in nature. There’s nothing like the great outdoors. Take time to be surrounded by the organic things that grow and bloom on earth. Breathe in the fresh air and take notice of all the beauty that exists in nature that you might not otherwise pay attention to. This is a great way to take time out from daily connectivity to electronic devices, work, and other life demands. So go outside breathe in some fresh air and connect with nature.
Photo by Jaida Stewart on Unsplash - Remember to laugh and as much as you can. Finding and seeing humor in things is a great way to make sure you laugh and can be contagious for others to laugh, too. Laughter is a natural way to reduce stress, depression, and anxiety. Research suggests that laughter can reduce the physical symptoms of stress by relaxing muscles and increasing blood circulation and improving pain tolerance. Laughter produces better social interactions, boosts your mood and energy, and can be used as a coping strategy very quickly and easily.
- Express yourself through emotional self-regulation. Being in tune with our emotions plays an essential part in how we function in life. It’s important to express and communicate our emotions in a healthy and controlled manner. This can prevent us from saying (or doing) something hurtful to others or ourselves. Self-regulation strategies are excellent approaches to activate calm and give yourself pause to stop and think before reacting to a situation or person, especially if negatively triggered. Such strategies include:
- Counting backwards from 10.
- Taking 5 slow deep breaths.
- Tensing and relaxing your fists or a different body part.
- Stepping away for a change of scenery.
- Writing down thoughts and feelings first before speaking.
- Singing or humming a favorite tune out loud or in your head for a few minutes.
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- Practice everyday mindfulness. Staying in the present moment daily can be challenging given how much we are consumed by technology and all its various forms – e.g., cell phones, laptops, smart watches, tablets/I-pads, gaming devices. It’s no wonder why we can be so easily distracted and unfocused on what’s happening right here, right now. Technology isn’t the only blame. It’s our thoughts, too – getting caught up in thinking about the past or what’s going to come or ‘what if’ something. However, with enough practice, you can get better at bringing yourself back to the present. Spend time each day to take in your immediate surroundings by using your five senses – what you see, hear, smell, feel/touch, and taste and couple it with paced deep breathing. Do a body scan from head to toe and notice any physical sensations such as tightness, soreness, achiness, or tingling. Then try tensing and relaxing or even stretching your different body parts and taking deep breaths to help you to relax, feel calm, and think clearly to stay in the moment.
“The present moment is the only thing where there is no time. It is the point between past and future. It is always there and it is the only point we can access in time. Everything that happens, happens in the present moment. Everything that ever happened and will ever happen can only happen in the present moment. It is impossible for anything to exist outside of it.” – Myrko Thum, author retrieved from https://positivepsychology.com/present-moment/
- Recognize positive moments daily. This is a wonderful exercise to help shift negative thoughts and your mood, and a way to practice gratitude and appreciation. These moments do not have to be so profound, but rather simple instances that you can reflect on to balance out those more stressful ones. Some examples include the coffee you ordered tasted especially good, or you had a traffic-free commute home from work, or you received a compliment, or your morning was less stressful getting the kids ready for school. Whatever your positive moments or events were, list them out and reflect on them at days end.
- Practicing acceptance and letting go. Out of all the different practices, this one can be the most challenging, but it’s also the most liberating! There is a therapeutic technique called radical acceptance developed by psychologist Marsha Linehan, founder of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). However its roots go back to early Buddhist teachings. The practice of radical acceptance means acknowledging the things that are out of your control in the moment and accepting the facts of the situation as reality rather than focusing on what you would like to be different. The concept is casually expressed as “It is what it is.” Acceptance does not mean you agree with or like a situation that’s happened. Accepting and letting go of the things that are out of your control can yield less frustration, anxiety, anger, and sadness and lead to better ways of coping. Inspirational author and spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle says “Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.”
The practices and exercises described above are not an exhaustive list. There are many other approaches and methods to begin your personal journey to establish inner peace. Why not get started as we enter the summer season to begin to create and cultivate inner peace as part of your life journey!
If you or a loved one are experiencing significant difficulty managing life’s various challenges, feeling distressed or restless, or in need of a supportive safe space – please don’t hesitate to reach out for help. A licensed mental health professional can provide you with tools, strategies, and guidance to create your own sense of inner peace.
Gabrielle incorporates a strength-based/positive psychology and wellness approach in her work that allows treatment to be dynamic based on client needs and goals.
Gabrielle enjoys being with her family, spending time with friends, cooking “Sunday” dinners, being out in nature, riding her motorcycle, and watching various professional sporting events on TV or in-person.
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde
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