Written by Allison Rosa, MA, LPC
When life feels overwhelming, we often turn inward. But sometimes, healing begins when we reach outward; when we connect, give, and remind ourselves that we’re part of something larger than our worries. Sometimes the quickest way to lift our own spirits is to lift someone else’s. Giving doesn’t just change communities, it changes us. It helps us quiet the noise of comparison and reconnect us to what truly matters. For many people, the holidays can bring up a mixed bag of emotions. Some people feel excitement and joy anticipating the family gatherings, cozy traditions, and festive foods. For others, this season can remind us of the many unexpected changes life can bring. Maybe you’re facing a change this year: a shift in your family, grief, financial challenges, stress, or simply a heavier emotional load.
Whether this time of year fills you with joy or apprehension, one small but powerful practice can help you foster emotional well-being: giving. Volunteering or donating this holiday season is a powerful way to focus on what you can control and find purpose in community and service towards others.
When we give, we activate parts of the brain associated with connection and purpose. Acts of generosity can release dopamine and oxytocin, the same chemicals tied to happiness and bonding. It also reminds us that even in times of stress or change, we still have the power to make an impact.
According to an article written by David Susman on Psychology Today, giving and volunteering can have a wide range of “mental and physical health benefits, including:
- Improved social skills through meeting others and working alongside them
- Reduced isolation and loneliness from interacting with others
- A sense of purpose and of making a difference from working toward a shared goal
- Increased self-confidence from learning new skills, meeting new people, achieving a goal
- Improved mood and reduced stress and anxiety
- Increased pleasure and happiness from engaging in a worthwhile activity
- Increased physical activity
- Learning skills that can transfer to the workplace or towards career goals
- Meeting potential employers and gaining a foothold toward future employment
- Decreased pain and lower blood pressure
- Decreased mortality or increased longevity”
Additionally, David Susman additionally cited a study in 2012 found that volunteers seem to live longer on average compared to those who have not served actively as volunteers: “Specifically, the more the individuals had volunteered over the past year and over the past 10 years, the lower their risk of mortality 4 years later.”
(Psychology Today, written by David Susman 07/25/2024. Read more here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-recovery-coach/202407/the-mental-and-physical-health-benefits-of-volunteering)
When life feels uncertain or heavy, particularly during the holidays, it can be easy for our thoughts to drift towards what is lacking in our lives. The people or things we’ve lost, what hasn’t gone as planned, or what others seem to have that we don’t. This kind of pattern can quietly drain motivation and deepen feelings of sadness or isolation. Shifting from a mindset of lack towards one filled with purpose doesn’t mean you’re ignoring your struggles. It means gently redirecting your focus towards what you can control or contribute. Acts of giving can spark that shift. When we choose to show kindness, lend a hand, or share encouragement, we step out of a self-critical or fearful space and into one of meaning and connection. Each intentional act reinforces a sense of agency: I can still make a difference and have a purpose in this world, even when things feel hard.
Gratitude strengthens that same mindset shift. By noticing even the smallest sources of comfort: a good meal, a warm conversation, or simply getting through a tough day; we retrain the brain to seek out the positive rather than dwell on what’s missing. This practice doesn’t erase pain, but it can soften its edges and create room for hope. Research shows that regularly expressing gratitude can reduce stress, boost happiness, and enhance resilience. When paired with giving, gratitude becomes a powerful emotional anchor as it reminds us that even in seasons of change or challenge, there is still good to be found, and still goodness we can offer to others. It’s easy to get caught up in what we feel we’re missing. But when we take part in giving, it helps us connect with our community and often builds a genuine sense of gratitude and perspective.
That’s why Exceptional Wellness is partnering with two local organizations serving Monmouth County.
- Village Foster Closet of Holmdel
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- Mission: “At the heart of The Village is a mission to empower foster families and provide a beacon of hope for children facing adversity. We envision a world where every child, regardless of their circumstances, has the opportunity to grow in an environment filled with love, support, and the promise of a brighter future.”
- How you can get involved: Exceptional Wellness Counseling has tags in both Shrewsbury and Manalapan office waiting rooms to supply gifts for foster children this holiday season. Toys, art supplies, gift cards, puzzles, clothing, and other items can be found on tags. EWC hopes to help the holidays special for as many people as possible, and your contributions, no matter how small, can make the world of a difference in someone’s holiday. You can bring your donations to administrative staff.
- Lunch Break in Red Bank NJ
- Mission: “Lunch break creates a meaningful, lasting impact to help guests achieve their goals and bring the community together. Our free programs and services provide essential services that make a difference.” a difference.
- “Federal employees and SNAP recipients in our community are struggling to put food on the table. Lunch Break is working tirelessly to meet the growing need, but we can’t do it alone. New families coming to Lunch Break are up 34% from last month. Please make an urgent donation today to help feed local families and bring hope where it’s needed most.”
- How you can get involved: Exceptional Wellness Counseling is running a food/essentials drive. You can find the full list of what we are collecting here: https://lunchbreak.org/ways-to-give/donate-food/
- You can bring in your donations to the administrative staff.
Whether it’s through volunteering, donating, or simply offering kindness in daily life, giving helps shift our focus from what’s missing to what’s meaningful. By engaging with our community, we cultivate gratitude, perspective, and a sense of agency: powerful ingredients for emotional well-being.
In the end, we can’t control everything around us, but we can control how we contribute. And often, that’s where healing begins.
Through her own experiences, Allison has learned that channeling holiday energy into giving and connection can transform the season into something more grounding and fulfilling.
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