By Khloe Crimando, MS, LAC
The holidays can be hard. Despite the Hallmark movies, shiny displays, and cheerful music telling us how this season should feel, the reality is often much more complicated. Many people struggle during this time of year. Increased financial pressure, social expectations, and family dynamics can add stress, while emotional triggers like grief, loneliness, or difficult memories can resurface.
Maybe this year looks different because family plans have changed, or you’re navigating the season for the first time without someone you love. During a season that can bring mixed emotions, practicing self-compassion becomes especially important. It’s okay to recognize your limits, acknowledge what’s difficult, and take care of your well-being in ways that feel realistic and supportive.
The holidays don’t have to look or feel a certain way — you’re allowed to experience them as you truly are.
What Is Self-Compassion?
According to Dr. Kristin Neff, self-compassion means offering yourself the same understanding and care you would give a friend who is struggling. It involves recognizing your pain with mindfulness and responding with kindness instead of self-judgment. Rather than pushing away difficult emotions or getting swept up in criticism, self-compassion invites you to acknowledge what’s hard and support yourself through it.
Think about how you would support a friend struggling during the holidays. You might listen, offer comfort, or simply acknowledge their difficulty. Self-compassion asks us to offer ourselves that same care.
Here are some ways to show up for yourself this holiday season with self-compassion!
Acknowledge Your Feelings
The holiday season can bring up a mix of emotions—joy and excitement, but also sadness or grief. Take a moment to notice and name what you’re feeling without judgment, rather than pushing it away. Recognizing your emotions allows you to respond with self-compassion, giving yourself the care you need. Accepting your feelings can help you navigate gatherings, traditions, and memories in a way that feels authentic to you.
Stay Connected With People Who Bring You Joy
This season can feel overwhelming, so it’s important to spend time with people who lift your spirits and make you feel supported. Even brief check-ins, phone calls, or FaceTime meetups can remind you that you’re not alone. Connecting with others, even in small ways, can bring moments of lightness and comfort during a busy or stressful time. Prioritizing these relationships may help you feel grounded and emotionally nourished throughout the season.
Take Time to Honor a Loved One
The holidays can make the absence of a loved one feel especially noticeable. Sharing a cherished memory or looking through photos may help you feel close to them, even in their absence. Small, personal rituals offer comfort and a gentle way to hold your grief. However you choose to honor their memory, it might help you feel connected to them during the holidays.
Embrace the Season in Your Own Way
There’s no single “right” way to celebrate the holidays. This can be a chance to create new traditions that bring you joy or gently let go of old ones that no longer feel meaningful. Whether it’s cooking a favorite meal, volunteering, or simply enjoying quiet moments of reflection, choose what feels right for you. Honoring the season on your own terms allows you to experience it fully.
Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries!
The holidays can be busy and emotionally demanding, and it’s okay to protect your time and energy. Saying no to gatherings or activities that feel overwhelming doesn’t make you selfish—it’s a way to care for yourself. Setting boundaries helps you show up more fully for the moments that matter. By honoring your needs, you give yourself space to feel more grounded, present, and at ease during the season.
Celebrate Yourself Through Self-Care
Leaning into self-care means intentionally carving out moments that bring you comfort, calm, or joy—even in small ways. It might be reading for ten minutes, taking a walk outside, listening to music that lifts you, or simply pausing to breathe deeply. These moments help you stay connected to yourself and your needs throughout this complex season.
Thank you for taking the time to read my tips! The holiday season can bring a mix of emotions, and all of these feelings are valid. Remember to honor what you’re experiencing rather than pushing it aside, and approach yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. Practicing self-compassion means noticing your feelings, giving yourself space to rest, reflect, or grieve, and caring for your needs in ways that feel authentic. By leaning into this gentle, supportive approach, you can move through the season with more ease, presence, and peace, allowing yourself to experience the holidays in a way that truly works for you.
Khloe takes a person-centered approach to therapy, drawing on evidence-based practices such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Psychodynamic therapy, Motivational Interviewing (MI), and mindfulness techniques. She has supported clients navigating challenges including anxiety, depression, stress management, life transitions, and relationship concerns. Grounded in a whole-health perspective, Khloe recognizes the connection between mental, emotional, physical, social, and spiritual well-being. With a background in the arts alongside her clinical training, she brings creativity and empathy to her work, fostering a safe and inclusive environment where healing and growth can emerge through self-awareness, resilience, and the exploration of each client’s unique story and strengths.
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