By Sabrina Sevigny, MSW, LSW
Are you someone who is never satisfied with your work, even when your teacher or boss congratulates you on a job well done? Do you find yourself replaying mistakes over and over in your head? Maybe you struggle with procrastination, because you know the work you will produce won’t ever meet your expectations. You are not alone. You are however, operating from a perfectionist mindset.
Perfection is unattainable and striving for it will lead to anxiety, burnout and missed opportunities. This post will explore the differences between striving for perfection vs. striving for excellence. They may sound like similar concepts, but one leads to unmet unrealistic expectations and the other provides us with opportunities to grow.
Perfectionism vs. Excellence
These terms may sound similar, but they represent fundamentally different approaches. Perfectionism chases the impossible, while excellence pursues high but attainable standards.
- Perfectionism is letting fear of mistakes and judgment impact your everyday life. It stalls progress by tying your worth to flawless outcomes. It makes vulnerability feel like failure.
- Excellence is understanding that mistakes are opportunities for improvement and growth. It’s trying your best with the resources and time that you have. Excellence is about becoming the best version of yourself with the understanding that you are enough because you tried your best.
Shifting your mindset is not going to be an easy task. However, it can be a decision that frees you from unnecessary stress and allows you opportunities to grow. I’ve started sharing with my clients that struggle with perfectionism, that practice makes progress. When you realize you’re falling into perfectionistic habits, it might help to adapt this saying as a mantra.
A Deeper Understanding of The Two Concepts
When someone is operating from a perfectionist mindset there are common themes to look out for. The first is that they set unrealistic standards for themselves, whether that is in their personal life, at work or at school. They expect themselves to be flawless, which leads to frustration and stress. They view any mistakes automatically as failures and they deeply internalize these failures, which leads to issues with self-confidence. Often, they may find themselves procrastinating. Perfectionism is time consuming, because it often leads to constant revisions and endless overthinking. That then leads to enduring dissatisfaction at work, at school and in their everyday life. Even when they are praised for a job well done, they never truly let themselves feel satisfied.
Someone who operates from an excellence mindset may set high goals and expectations for themselves, but they are always achievable and within their capabilities. Mistakes become opportunities to grow and learn. They do not become stagnant, because they embrace constructive criticism and use it to improve themselves. Excellence is a growth-oriented mindset. It also allows for creativity and productivity, because one does not have to fear judgement. Excellence leads to personal fulfillment, because an individual knows they put in their best efforts.
What Can Perfectionism Cost You?
Perfectionism is linked to higher levels of anxiety, depression and burnout. Unrealistic standards and goals can impact one’s mental health and wellbeing. Perfectionists may miss out on great opportunities because they are waiting for the perfect time or waiting until they’ve perfected an assignment or skill. Resiliency is heavily impacted by perfectionism, because the smallest mistakes become catastrophic and this can lead to constant cycles of frustration. The endless pursuit of perfection often leads to burnout due to hours of overthinking and ceaseless revisions. Creativity and enthusiasm are cast aside instead of being at the forefront of one’s mind. Perfectionism leads to cycles of dissatisfaction and missed opportunities to celebrate one’s achievements.
Excellence Can Lead to More Life Satisfaction
Excellence focuses on efficiency instead of perfection. This leads to increased productivity and less wasted efforts. It also improves one’s flexibility, as challenges and mistakes are viewed as opportunities to adapt and problem solve. While perfectionism can lead to defeat, excellence welcomes new challenges. When one adapts an excellence mindset they are also committing themselves to being lifelong learners. Excellence celebrates innovation and continuous growth. Allowing ourselves to do our best and not demanding perfection leads to increased confidence in our own abilities. We stop measuring our success by unattainable goals or expectations and start recognizing our progress, efforts and achievements. Excellence mindsets lead to resiliency and self-confidence.
How Do You Let Go of Perfectionism?
Transitioning from a perfectionism mindset to an excellence mindset does not mean compromising on quality or one’s ideals. It’s about becoming more mindful of your habits and shifting your perspective.
Reevaluate what success means to you. Success should be based on effort and progress, not flawlessness.
- Set achievable goals and expectations. Understand your capabilities and set yourself up for success.
- Practice being more mindful. It is important to be present in the moment, not fixated on what’s missing or what may be out of your control.
- Celebrate your accomplishments. You need to recognize that small victories are worth celebrating and mean you are on the right track.
- No more constant revisions. It is important to set boundaries with yourself and commit to a firm deadline.
How Therapy Can Help
Therapy can be a safe environment for one to practice reframing their perfectionistic thoughts and overall mindset. Therapists can offer suggestions and tools that help an individual reevaluate their unhelpful habits and reframe how to think more positively about themselves and the work that they do.
How one speaks to themselves in their mind is of extreme importance and having a trusted person to point out unhelpful or self-defeating thoughts can be the first step in shifting to an excellence mindset. Therapists can also help with accountability and setting achievable goals for oneself that can lead to success not hindered by perfectionism.
If you’re ready to move beyond perfectionism and embrace growth, support is available. You don’t have to do it alone. Exceptional Wellness Counseling has therapists that are ready to help you on your excellence journey. Contact us today with any questions on our services and how we can support you.
Check out Sabrina’s professional bio here!
Email: info@exceptionalwellnesscounseling.com
Phone: (908) 415-2042
Next Steps & Resources
- Are you ready to take your first step? Reach out to us.
- Do you feel your teen may benefit from counseling during this time? Take the first step.
- Interested in online counseling? Learn more.
